Tracy Morgan Quotes

  1. I’m no Jerry Seinfeld. I wasn’t raised with some backyard with a creek and trees and all that.
  2. Ladies are honest. They’re my motivation. They know what’s funny, and the dudes just follow.
  3. People live too much of their lives on email or the Internet or text messages these days. We’re losing all of our communication skills.
  4. The most romantic thing I ever did to my woman? I painted her toenails!
  5. People walked out on Richard Pryor and he’s the funniest man alive.
  6. I don’t believe in storks. I know they don’t deliver babies; they deliver pickles.
  7. If I make fun of somebody at my show, believe me, it’s something we can all laugh at.
  8. What I have learned over the years is to try to stay in the moment.
  9. It’s just, people recognize you for your work, you know? They love you for your work, and they judge you for your work. It’s awesome to have people quoting you. I love it.
  10. Working with Bruce Willis makes my career authentic. I may not get an Oscar, but I worked with Bruce Willis. That matters more to me.
  11. Bad news travels at the speed of light; good news travels like molasses.
  12. There’s nothing in the world like live entertainment. With TV, you have to wait for your results; with live entertainment, people let you know right then and there. That relationship is established in 30 seconds. The first 30 seconds, they’ll let you know whether they like you or not.
  13. I remember when I was on ‘Saturday Night Live’ my first year, and I wasn’t getting much. I was down; I was ready to quit.
  14. Stand-up don’t get no respect – it’s the hardest thing to do in show business. You don’t have no band and there’s no music.
  15. On ‘Saturday Night Live,’ I never really wrote. You know, I would just – I would let the writers cast me into the show. So my strength – and I put all my energies into performance. I just couldn’t deal with the rejection, you know, getting your sketches cut, and it was hard for me.
  16. When you’re in the spotlight, people want to dissect you and then put you back together the way they want you.
  17. Stand-up is the foundation to my career. It’s what I started out doing.
  18. I’m around my kids every day. I’m regular. We’re a regular family. My wife cooks, she washes clothes, I read books, I pump my own gas, I get my own hair cut.
  19. I’m not a child star, but you could say that I’ve grown up on TV. I went from being an unknown, down-and-out comic from Brooklyn and the Bronx to being a regular character on a major network comedy called ‘Martin.’ From there I went on to become the most notable black comic on ‘Saturday Night Live’ since Eddie Murphy.
  20. It gets scary when you’re dealing with people who don’t know how to separate fact from fiction.
  21. Being funny wasn’t a career choice growing up, it was my way out of situations; a way to survive another day.
  22. I’m art. You’re art. We are God’s greatest works, simple as that.
  23. I come from where Mike Tyson came from. I come from right across the street from Jay-Z. I didn’t have a pond in my backyard. I saw violence.
  24. I want to be an example of a guy who made something of himself out of nothing. A guy who overcame the odds of a tough childhood, who worked hard, who didn’t let his surroundings get the best of him and lead him to jail or the graveyard. Where I ended up – being a comedian, a TV star, and a movie actor – might be unique, but my story is not.
  25. I have a pretty diverse audience, and that makes me happy – laughter is universal, and I don’t differentiate between people at all. Why should I? People are people. There’s no reason why one person can’t relate to any other person on this planet in some way or another.
  26. You have to be highly intelligent to get away with a dumb joke. That takes a pretty smart fella.
  27. I’m a big, big movie fan. I watch ‘The Ten Commandments’ and the original ‘Planet of the Apes’ every night.
  28. I’m a black man in America, so I’m going to be misunderstood.
  29. I mellowed out; my daughter mellowed me out, and I don’t get mad at anyone.
  30. I deal with my sons like young men. If they have a problem with something, they come to me. I am the type of dad that will drop everything I am doing for them, and always tell them to talk to me about it.
  31. Life smacks Tracy Morgan in the face, and I don’t mean to talk in third party, but no, it doesn’t stop raining when I come outside, no, absolutely not. I’m very in touch.
  32. If I had to describe my sense of humor, I would say it’s contemporary wit, you know what I’m saying?
  33. I love my mother. My mother made sure, her stubbornness – she made sure we was going to eat. She made sure we had Christmases. That was my mother. My father wasn’t there for that.
  34. Whenever I perform, people get me because I’m talking about things that people can identify with and relate to. I’m not just up there doing jokey, jokey, joke.
  35. I’m not getting any younger. You’re not getting any younger, so yeah. You age.
  36. I think the word ‘pregnant’ is funny.
  37. Stand-up is my foundation. That’s where it started at. And I love it because it’s personal. It’s mine. It’s all me. It’s my experience in life.
  38. I was never a big comic book fan. I was always more into the baseball cards.
  39. If she’s not spoken for, and you come at her correctly, like a man, she’ll get with you.
  40. I think it’s good that I get scared because, if you never get scared, you don’t have any need for guts.
  41. Who’s coming with me? I don’t know where I’m going, but who’s coming with me?
  42. I would love to try action films.
  43. I’ve still got family members living below the poverty line in New York.
  44. The sexiest part of a woman’s body is the back of her kneecaps.
  45. I’m human, I feel, I understand. That’s the highest level of love, is understanding – when you can understand someone, when you can love them with their flaws and their faults. So I understand, I consider. I may speak the truth, but I’ll consider your feelings, too.
  46. It’s like going to the zoo when you come to my house. I have snakes, three sharks, moray eels, piranhas, five scorpions and a bird spider.
  47. ‘Saturday Night Live’ is live television. Nothing can compare to that.
  48. Anybody who’s lived in the ghetto knows that you don’t move during the daytime. Here’s why: You don’t want anyone to know you’re leaving, and you don’t want anyone knowing where you’re going.
  49. I know who I am. When I look in the mirror, I see me.
  50. I had a great time working on ‘Saturday Night Live.’ It was one of the important times in my life.
  51. I don’t control the line of ‘funny,’ ‘funny,’ ‘funny,’ ‘not funny.’
  52. Most people don’t know what’s happening around them because they’re just speeding through life. And before they know it, they’re just old. So I just try to slow it down.
  53. Yeah, race exists. Racism is still here, and it’s doing well. Turn on the news. I don’t think me and my comedy can really change that.
  54. I know how bad bullying can hurt. I was bullied when I was a kid.
  55. My fans would love to see Brian Fellow come back. I love my fans. And they like my edge.
  56. You will be surprised but I do a lot of studying and I watch National Geographic.
  57. Welcome to post-racial America. I’m the face of post-racial America.
  58. I do comedy for real people.
  59. ‘Saturday Night Live’ was the joy of my life.
  60. No matter what, if my son was gay, I’d treat him like a king.
  61. America doesn’t like to hear about things like welfare. ‘Don’t talk about that. We don’t like what it did to people!’ Yeah, but it happened.
  62. Michael’s the ultimate entertainer. After Michael Jackson, it’s Elvis Presley, Frank Sinatra, and Bruce Lee.
  63. Comedians are the monkeys of acting. When you go to the zoo, everybody loves the monkey exhibit.
  64. There aren’t a lot of guys out there keeping it real. Everybody’s been branded. Everybody’s been bought and sold.
  65. My life growing up was a twisted Bronx version of ‘The Color Purple.’ It had a much different soundtrack and no trees, but that desperation was the same.
  66. Having a daughter makes you see things in a different way. You have to see how you’re carrying yourself because there’s a little girl. There’s not a little boy, there’s a little girl. I think I’m a little more overprotective.
  67. You get somebody to crack a smile, that’s a beautiful thing.
  68. Even when I’m sitting up in this glass castle, I still got my street soldiers telling me what’s happening.
  69. I have snakes, three sharks, moray eels, piranhas, five scorpions and a bird spider. All of them are predators. They are dangerous but it’s cool to have strong and powerful pets.
  70. My sense of humor is a turkey, and I pull it out of the oven and baste it in reality.
  71. There’s nothing wrong with looking at a woman’s kneecaps.
  72. You can’t hold me to the same standard as the president or a school teacher. I’m just a comedian. My job is like Archie Bunker.
  73. If you can get your life down to one minute at a time, you don’t miss anything. You have total abundance of information and material.
  74. In my heart, I really don’t care who you love, same sex or not; as long as you have the ability to love, that’s the important thing here.
  75. All you single fathers got to man up.
  76. I don’t have anything against Jimmy Fallon. I love Jimmy Fallon. He’s my dude.
  77. I just want to be funny, I just want to do comedy.
  78. I don’t need no stool and mike stand. I don’t need all of that to be funny. I’ve been funny my whole life. This is a gift God gave me. I spread love wherever I’m at. I’m like Marvin Gaye.
  79. We have freedom of speech, but you got to watch what you say.
  80. If you’re the kind of person who likes numbers and statistics, I’m the long shot – the Lotto Powerball winner. I’m the mutation in the DNA that makes evolution a reality. I am the new black.
  81. People are just way too sensitive. You couldn’t have a show like ‘Archie Bunker’ on TV. People would go crazy; they would lose their minds.
  82. Martin Lawrence is one of my comedic heroes, and he’s a genius.
  83. You gotta understand, my great-grandfather was German and Irish. My grandmother was Indian, and my grandfather was African-American, so we all got a little something in us.
  84. I don’t have a hateful bone in my body. I don’t believe anyone should be bullied or made to feel bad about who they are.
  85. To me, politics is a pile of tricks.
  86. If I gamble, I’ll play roulette. My wife and I will play roulette, and that’s about it. I’m not a heavy gambler.
  87. I’ve played outrageous characters my whole career.
  88. I have a heart. I want people to see me with their heart and not their eyes.
  89. I don’t get on the phone and prank people and things like that on the phone with people, no.
  90. I have a nice following in Boston. The Boston crowd is very hip.
  91. Having boys is different. Boys, you put sneakers on, and they’re out, they’re ready. Girls, you gotta pay a little bit more attention to them.
  92. What I have learned over the years is to try to stay in the moment. I want to feel it all because I’ve realized nothing lasts.
  93. I don’t see myself as angry, although other people see that. I just see myself as a short, dumpy guy with bad feet, and I’m passionate.
  94. I was like any other inner-city kid with a chip on his shoulder because his daddy and his mommy wasn’t together.
  95. So I think all comedians are earning their wings into heaven. We’re all going to heaven, but everybody’s not going to get their wings. Some people are just going to be regular angels. Doing cleanup, janitor work. In heaven, I’m going to sit on the couch with Oprah.
  96. God gave us dreams, but he gave us kids to make all those dreams worthwhile. And when I look at all my kids, I say everything that I’ve ever went through in my life was worthwhile.
  97. If we all had a little bit of Michael Jackson in us, I think it would make the world a better place.
  98. I love working with Alec Baldwin. He’s one of the five greatest actors ever to live.
  99. I got five kids – I claim three for income tax purposes.
  100. You have to give a wound time to heal and think of other people’s feelings.
  101. Where I came from, people couldn’t afford to go to the theatre.
  102. My voice is very distinct. People hear Tracy Morgan’s voice, and they know Tracy Morgan right off the bat because I’ve been in their homes for so many years.
  103. I’ve been funny my whole life. This is a gift God gave me.
  104. I don’t do drama. I’m a comedian.
  105. Growing up in the ghetto is pretty hard. It’s poverty; it’s frustration.
  106. Of all the sicknesses, there is probably none more abusive than homophobia.
  107. I think hip hop is dead. It’s all pop now. If you call it hip hop, then you need to stop. Hip hop was a movement. Hip hop was a culture. Hip hop was a way of life. It’s all commercial now.
  108. They say that every Jewish person is supposed to love one black person in his life. I’m glad Lorne Michaels chose me.
  109. And when I was angry, when I was younger, I was in a cocoon. Now I’m a beautiful, black butterfly.
  110. I know my spirit is not mean, and I have a very good spirit and a funny spirit.
  111. There’s ups and downs of any job. If you worked at the post office, there’s ups and downs. You have your good days, and you have your bad days. If you’re a housewife, you have your good days, and you have your bad days.
  112. Everybody’s out to get something from somebody. ‘Gold diggers’ doesn’t just mean money, it can mean time, it can mean feelings. It can mean anything when you’re taking and not giving. When people don’t know how to reciprocate.
  113. The only person who knows what’s in my wallet is my wife.
  114. Reality is the scary thing. Not my work, not comedy.
  115. Comedy should be easy, not laboured.
  116. When you see me on the street, act like you know me.
  117. I think people would want to see Tracy Morgan host ‘Saturday Night Live.’
  118. I’m glad I dropped out of high school, man. I wouldn’t be where I’m at. I would have had a net. I’m glad I didn’t have anything to fall back on, man, because that made me go for my dreams that much harder.
  119. The truth is, I’ve never thought of myself as the Michael Jordan of comedy. And that’s a good thing. You know why? Because I’m not. Wasn’t that Richard Pryor? Yes, it was. I know what I am: I’m funny!
  120. Cool is the enemy of funny. You can’t be cool and be funny at the same time. Only Eddie Murphy could do that.
  121. I do my best creating on stage.
  122. Whatever I did on ‘Saturday Night Live’ is going to stay and remain on ‘Saturday Night Live.’
  123. Listen, Bruce Lee fought out of anger. That’s why they call it the ‘Fists of Fury.’ Michael Jackson danced with fury. I do stand up out of fury. I’m not mad at anybody. I’m not mad at any human being because I’m a human being.
  124. Parents should support and love their kids no matter what.
  125. I don’t even read the newspaper; I don’t read that crap.
  126. I grew up in the projects in Brooklyn, and I consider myself lucky and blessed to be where I am – just working.
  127. In New York, we get down. In L.A., everybody’s pretty much standing around like they’re at a keg stand. You got to get the party started, so I just take my shirt off.
  128. We need to learn to laugh at ourselves because when you don’t laugh, you cry. And I don’t feel like crying.
  129. A stand-up’s job is to hold the mirror up to society and to look at what we’re afraid of. That’s why we had shows like ‘All in the Family’ and ‘The Jeffersons.’ We made fun of ourselves then.
  130. I do stand up sometimes out of anger. Sometimes the greatest stuff comes from a dark place.
  131. I love ’30 Rock’ because Tina Fey allows me to fly over the cuckoo nest once a week.
  132. White women love me ’cause of my edge. And I love white women.
  133. When Richard Pryor did comedy, it was like he was having a conversation.
  134. I want to show the world my humor.
  135. Comedy clubs are sacred ground. That’s where anything goes.
  136. When you look at the artists who have come up through ‘Billboard’ over the years, it’s incredible.
  137. When I want to work on my material, I go to Benihana or the barbershop.
  138. I’ve got friends who want money but don’t want to do anything to earn it.
  139. I’ve gone through my trials and tribulations, and sure, it’s gotten bumpy and all that, but I’m here. OK?
  140. The further you go, what, I’m gonna wait til I’m 80? Naw, I’m tellin’ my story now. I was just moved. I was moved to tell my story. You know? People write books all the time.
  141. What you have to understand is that my thing is not glamour. I love stretch marks and C-section scars and all of that. I’m a grown man. You don’t gotta put on no makeup with me.
  142. Most creative thing I’ve ever done? Got somebody pregnant.
  143. As a child, I was able to know that I wanted a better life.
  144. If I don’t offend somebody, then I’m probably not funny.
  145. It’s very important to be in your child’s life and know what’s going on and be there with them.
  146. I have my Lucky Charms in the morning, and I feel magical.
  147. Some people believe everything they see on TV. People, it’s called tel-lie-vision!
  148. I know how people are. We fixate on controversy and all that.
  149. My older brother was born, who was a cripple, then I was born, and my sister was born, the only girl. So I was between the only girl and the crippled guy. I was the middle guy.
  150. That’s a gift God’s given us: the ability to work together in collaborations.
  151. ‘Saturday Night Live’ was like a university for funny.
  152. I have friends who are black, white, purple, gay, straight, Martian, yellow, old, and young. I have friends who are animals and a few who I believe to be robots. All of them are people to me. In my mind, it’s not about what you look like or what you do; it’s about who you are inside.
  153. The paparazzi do what they do, man. They have a job, too.
  154. If you can survive ‘Saturday Night Live,’ then you’re good as far as show business is concerned.
  155. My father was funnier than me. My father was Richard Pryor-funny. I’m just a better businessman.
  156. The version of me you see on TV now and in my feature films is a pretty happy guy, isn’t he?
  157. My heart is committed to giving everyone the same rights that I deserve for myself.
  158. Black people dance well because we start early – there’s music being played everywhere. White people? They don’t start dancing until they get to college, and by then, it’s too late; the bottom don’t move with the top no matter how hard they try.
  159. What am I afraid of? The IRS. That’s it. I don’t want those people knockin’ on my door, man.
  160. I spread love wherever I’m at. I’m like Marvin Gaye.
  161. My father was the role model I looked up to. My dad was an entertainer, too. I patterned my life after him. He wanted me to do better than he did. He never sold a record in his life, but to me, he was still a rock star.
  162. I’m not perfect, but I strive for it.
  163. I love animals, but I don’t want to talk to them. I’d rather be able to talk to other people on other continents and understand them.
  164. I guess I’m entertaining; I guess I’m interesting. I guess the things that I say sell papers. I guess they sell magazines. I don’t know.
  165. Sometimes I think we’re exposed to things we shouldn’t be exposed to too early. I think that sets the tone to a person’s whole life. Trauma.
  166. All women like to look up to their men.
  167. I believe gay, straight, anybody, everybody’s supposed to be happy in this world, man.
  168. No one set that I ever do is the same. I mean, if I go to a comedy club, and I perform three sets, all three sets are different because anything can happen in between sets.
  169. When a child is born, it’s born with a heart of gold, but the way of this world can turn that heart cold. I’m still a good person, and I thank God for that – He’s working with me on it.
  170. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my life, it’s that curiosity might kill cats, but it doesn’t kill people.
  171. I’m a human being. I feel all emotions. I’m not just happy all the time. Sometimes, I’m sad and feel the blues. Sometimes I even want to feel the blues. Sometimes, you want to feel down.
  172. I have the person at home, the person who has his privacy, too. Michael Jackson didn’t do the moonwalk in his kitchen.
  173. For my first gig, I got $75. I could make money being funny, so I pursued it as a career and have turned it into a lucrative business.
  174. If I get some Bruce Lee nun-chucks that he actually used in a movie, those are going in the case. Those will never be used. Those will never be touched.
  175. Tracy Morgan is subdued. I’m cool. I’m chilled out.
  176. Rock bottom for some people is death. Some people never learn from their mistakes. They don’t learn from other people’s mistakes.
  177. People bring camera phones into comedy shows and clubs and concerts, and sound bites never come out right.

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